A quick disclaimer: Anyone who visits this site on a regular basis must believe that my music collection is comprised mostly of albums which are universally reviled. Note that no one else on the staff has attempted (as of July 2024) to render their own verdicts on such albums as Having Fun With Elvis On Stage—and for good reason: they don’t own this shit.
But I do—amongst thousands of other pieces which should give me some of my street cred back. It’s with this concept in mind that I finally dug deep into the stacks—there, just past the re-issue of The Shaggs (I wish I was kidding)—and decided to check out Two The Hard Way, the debut (and only) release from the charmingly named Allman And Woman. The by-product of what seemed to be a tumultuous three-year marriage, this album paired Gregg Allman with his then-wife Cher; why she is referred to as "Woman" on this one, I have absolutely no idea.
Perhaps, had Allman and Cher actually stayed away from each other on the numerous times they separated or filed for divorce from each other, this album would never have happened. But, it did. May God have mercy on us all.
Is it good? Hell to the no. Is it terrible? Surprisingly, I’d also have to say “no”—but there’s a reason this is one album that has never legally seen release on compact disc.
Removing their personal lives from the equation (which, admittedly, is tough to do when you know the stories going into the recording of this album), each individual’s career was in its own freefall. Allman had experienced some minor success with his solo career, but he was definitely floundering following the mid-’70s breakup of The Allman Brothers Band. As for Cher, she still found the charts from time to time, but had last experienced a number one song in 1974. So, they each had some form of the brass ring to try to grab onto.
And maybe—just maybe—had this disc been properly executed, it would have helped each of their careers out. As it sits, though, it’s a mixture of Southern rock, soul and ballads that occasionally shows some fire, but often is about as satisfying as a bowl of unflavored Jell-O.
The album’s opener “Move Me” is the source of that initial false hope. Sounding like something the Allman Brothers Band might have recorded around that period of time, it does capture some excitement, even if the song itself seems a tad devoid of full development. It’s enough for the listener to sit up and say, “Maybe there was something to this pairing!”
That feeling passes fairly quickly, unfortunately, with songs like “I Found You, Love” and a cover of “You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me.” For two people who allegedly could barely tolerate each other (though Cher would later say it was due to Allman’s addictions), the number of love songs here is surprisingly high. (I know... probably not the best choice of words.)
The only song to make it past the days of vinyl and tapes—“Can You Fool,” featured on the Allman Brothers Band's Dreams box set—isn’t the worst track in the bunch, but also isn’t the strongest effort. Yet, for fans of the Allmans, it’s probably the only exposure they’ve had to this album; had “Move Me,” the first single, been the selected track, it might have piqued people’s interest.
The second half of the album doesn’t improve things that much. “Shadow Dream Song,” Allman’s solo vocal effort, sounds like a throwaway track from his solo career, while Cher’s spotlight number “Island” experiences the same fate. It’s not that the tracks are bad; it’s that nothing is done to really highlight the work on them.
If anything, Two The Hard Way commits the greatest sin by not quite knowing what it wants to be musically, or where it wants to go. Allman’s hard-scarred Southern rock style doesn’t merge with Cher’s pop sensibilities as well as some would hope, but there are times like on “I Love Makin’ Love To You” where—even for the briefest of moments—the two worlds successfully come together. If there had been more such moments, this would have been a better album.
That all said... if we’re one hundred percent honest, I’ve heard far worse albums than Two The Hard Way. It is by no means a successful disc, and unless you’re a completist for either Allman’s or Cher’s discographies, this is hardly one you’ll want to search for on vinyl. It most certainly has a few moments that are worthy of one’s attention. But overall, this one just smacks of what could have been—and that, to me, is the greatest disappointment.