The Cat In The Hat


Decca Records, 2003

REVIEW BY: Christopher Thelen


In the wonderful, fabulous, simply magnaminous world of our friend Dr. Seuss
The cinema bandits, in all of their grandness, let beloved characters loose
So first came The Grinch. "He'll do in a pinch," said the CEOs both slim and fat,
"until we can land, and people can stand, the movie The Cat In The Hat."

Now I'll tell you, good reader, I'm not in the theater, nor have I desire to see
The latest perception of Theo Geisel's inception not animated on my TV
(Though I do like Mike Myers - he simply aspires to become the characters he plays)
The topic at hand is the soundtrack - so bland, it makes you crave dark, rainy days.

Okay, maybe I indulge in a lie -- it gets off to quite a good start my_heart_sings_the_harmony_web_ad_alt_250
Maybe David Newman, with his scorin' and tunin', tries too hard to warm all our hearts
"Main Title - The Kids" would be flippin' my lids, if only it wasn't so long
Remember the theme -- 'cause it's not a dream -- it permeates most of the songs.

When Smash Mouth does cover a great Beatles number, things do make a turn for the cash
And I've got to say, "Getting Better" -- hooray! -- even though the third verse was trashed
And Myers chimes in with mischevious grin on this disc's best track, "Fun, Fun, Fun"
You'll do double-takes as entendres he makes, but offensive words? Not a one.

The problem with this -- the soundtrack on disc -- is that it's not really exciting
The repeat of sections shows lack of convections -- and proves to be hardly inviting
"Jumping / Leaky Crate," "The Contract" and eight tracks I need just to flush out this rhyme
They all sound the same, though I won't pin the blame -- 'cause frankly, I don't have the time.

But maybe it's hard, said the musical bard, to translate the cinema action
To tunes on a platter -- and that's what's the matter with this disc; there's no satisfaction
Though the action is zany, anyone with a brainy can probably figure things out
But the tunes on their own just don't have the cajones -- and that will make some people pout.

But fear not, I say, for there will come a day when ol' Dr. Seuss is translated
To a soundtrack so great that you'll clean off your plate and leave your poor appetite sated
I'm sure he'd confess, Newman did his best, his sincerity will not be questioned
But just on its own, I cannot condone you buying this recording session.

And finally, dear friends, as I reach the end of the hardest review I have written
I must say a word, though it may seem absurd, to those who with my words are smitten
If you copy this page without naming this sage, I won't get paid, and I will feel slighted
Get your hands off these masters, you pirating bastards -- 'cause this review is copyrighted.

Rating: C

User Rating: Not Yet Rated



© 2003 Christopher Thelen and The Daily Vault. All rights reserved. Review or any portion may not be reproduced without written permission. Cover art is the intellectual property of Decca Records, and is used for informational purposes only.