Modern Life Is War joins Slipknot as another Iowa band I can't stand. Now, without ever making any sort of dent in the eastern Iowa scene where I live,  Marshalltown-based Modern Life Is War is calling it quits, with their last date scheduled for the end of April 2008. Midnight In America is an example of why the world of music will not only be a better place without their music polluting an already crowded indie scene, but also an example of how to not make good music.

MLIW is all about throwing up roadblocks. If you find a way to rationalize the shouted vocals of Jeffrey Eaton, then you have to deal with the chaotic guitar riffs of John Eich and Siarm 13. If you figure out whether they are playing in synch or just wildly chaotic, you then find yourself having to deal with sloppy snare fills from Tyler Oleson, especially on the first track, "Useless Generation." You don't really have to worry about bassist Tim Churchman – it's impossible to hear much of his instrument, which may or may not be a negative. Sometimes, a band will be awful, like MLIW is, but still have a single ray of hope that makes the material worth listening to more than once.

Sad to say, there is no ray of hope here. I suffered through this entire release a couple of times, set it aside, and returned to it. Tracks like "Stagger Lee" still were awful to my ears. It seems like it would be interesting, but the roadblocks keep showing up. The shouted lyrics "Cause I feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of my neck / He's whispering to the barkeep" set the stage for the confrontation at the end of the song, but it's just not delivered with enough interesting musical ideas. The riffs seem pointless and don't really progress the song. Sure, it's a cover that's been done by Taj Mahal and The Clash and some others, but it's just not good here.

After "Stagger Lee" comes "Big City Dream," which starts out rather promising before being sucked into darkness. Lines like “The last words I heard before I slammed the door / You gotta be humble in life / but my shoulders tell me that ain't right as I race down the stairs and step out into the night” are all fine and poetic, but then the song dips into cliché with "Thoughts rise and fall / sharpen my mind into a razor." Hasn't the infamous "razor" metaphor been done by too many 80s hair bands to be officially dead? I guess not.

Things continue through "Pendulum" and "These Mad Dogs of Glory" with profanity peppering the lyrics and a lot of angst and hostility; nothing is really noteworthy in these mediocre to boring tracks. "Night Shift at the Potato Factory" gets a minor tick for 'best song title with the phrase potato factory in it' but that's it.

In the end, this band should retire as they have planned to do and never play together ever again. Ticket prices for their last gig in Marshalltown are going fast and are apparently expensive. I don't see the point, as this band will serve the world of music by not existing any more after their final gig, and I’m hoping that I won’t have to listen to them anymore or, for that matter, hear about them anymore in the near future.

Rating: F

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